She pokes the baby in the eye!

 Hi,

Just before Christmas I wrote to everyone on my email list asking for their questions and I received some really good ones, here is one you may relate too.

One mum wrote;

Thank you for your email. Firstly could I have some advice on how to deal with my 2 1/2 year little girl, as she keeps on poking my baby girl of 3 months in the eye. And when she gets cross, she tips things over....! Could you please give me some tips on how to stop this behaviour!
 

My Reply;

Thanks for your question.  I have had many replies from parents of 2 1/2 year olds, it is definitely an age when young children are starting to push their boundaries and their luck and a really great time for parent's to set off on the right track with their children regarding handling their behaviour.

There are a few things to suggest with regards poking the baby in the eye;

• Depending on when it is happening, for example if you are feeding the baby and she is trying to get your attention, you could try a few things such as give her, her own doll to look after, I did this with my daughter when my son was born and she would get her doll and bath, feed or dress her baby alongside me when I was looking after my son, it worked a treat.
• Keep her busy and save a bag of interesting toys for her to play with at feeding time, changing time and tell her she can play with these toys while mummy feeds baby
• Sit her by you and read her a story while you feed the baby, this way if she is occupied when you are busy with the baby she is less likely to feel jealous and take it out on the baby.
• Praise her every time she is kind to the baby so that she feels good about the baby and encourage her to be kind and do little jobs like pass mummy the baby’s blanket. This way she will feel helpful and you have an opportunity to praise her. 
• If she is poking the baby when you are not looking, you are best to keep her away as much as you can and make sure she is not on her own with the baby.
• Use a consequence for the unwanted behaviour by nipping the problem in the bud and using quiet time. (please see the guidelines on my website)

• With regards to the tipping things over, would you consider her behaviour more like a tantrum for not getting her own way? If so check out my tantrum video has loads of tips for you.  http://www.childbehaviourdirect.com/stop-tantrums-video-2954.html 

A few weeks later I had some really nice feedback from the same mom saying that the tips had worked a treat which is always great to know…

Have you had similar experiences with your children?  Let me know if you use these tips and how you get on, please leave your comments belowJ

Best wishes

Ruth

How to settle your child into their new school happily!

If you are dreading the new school term because your little darling is starting school or nursery, worry no more. There are some great ways that you can help your child to settle in as easy as possible that will help to relieve your anxiety and your child’s stress. Whether or not you have prepared your child really well in advance, that first day always seems to come quicker than you thought and no matter what, you can never be totally sure of their reactions on the day. You can however be ready to handle any crying or upset to ease them into school the best you can, by having a ‘Goodbye Routine’. Before you make a plan of your routine, you really need to find out the schools policy on arrivals, as some children gather in the playground and some go into their classroom. If however you don’t know on the day just ask at the school office or your child’s teacher will tell you. These tried and tested tips will help you to make the transition easier for you and your child and settle them in the fastest easiest way you can.


1 Arrive in plenty of time and allow yourself time to settle your child into the playground or classroom as rushing around although unavoidable sometimes is not very helpful on their first day and can add to stress levels. Help them to hang up their coat and put their belongings away, if possible, although you may have to wave them off in the playground or at the door.

2 Say hello to their teacher and encourage your child to do the same, this will help your child to connect with another adult and help them to feel more secure. It is also important to gain acknowledgement that you have passed your child’s care over to the relevant person. In a few weeks or days, once your child has settled in and they are more confident, you will find that they will probably just go off to play with their friends instead when they arrive.

3 Do what everyone else does and if the other children are all sitting on the carpet waiting for the teacher or at their desks, encourage your child to do the same. If you are allowed into the cloakroom, help your child to take their coat off and hang it up, as all those pegs can be very daunting.

4 Say goodbye, give them a kiss a positive smile and leave quickly when it is time to leave, because if you stay should they cry you will accidentally reward the behaviour and they will soon realise the easy way to get to prolong your departure. I have settled hundreds of children into nursery or school (not all my own I must say) and have found that it is always best tell your child as opposed to sneaking off when they are not looking. That’s not to say that they won’t cry, but they will trust you more and learn the routine much easier and be more confident faster.

5 Pass them to a member of staff if they start to cry and don’t be afraid to ring the school in half an hour or so to ask if they have settled down. You can ring the school office to ask them to check with the teacher as there is no point you worrying all day when you can have your mind put at ease. You would be surprised how many parent’s do this, so don’t suffer and ruin your day, especially when your child is likely to have settled and be having a great time.

If you would like more information like this and ideas of how to cope with the first few weeks and staying involved with your child’s progress please stay tuned to my blog!